Not To Be Confusing..

Not to be confusing but you can now find me here...

http://causemomsays.wordpress.com/

I love it and plan on being there indefinitely.

#26 Learn A Lesson From Santa

I have no intention of you reading this before your innocence regarding the magic that is Christmas morning has dwindled some. However I truly hope you believe in Santa Claus way beyond your childhood. Santa has something to teach us.

Santa gives without any regard to what he will receive in return. He does it because he is a happy merry man who wants to reward goodness and happens to have a surplus of elves to do his work. When you give to others please do it as Santa does. Give with a merry heart, give without concern for what someone will hand you in return, give your best. I truly believe that if you give to others in this fashion you will be given something in return. In the case of Santa everyone gives back by telling their children about him, by not minding his intrusion through their chimneys and reindeer poop on the lawn. People smile at Santa, they want to leave him cookies and treats, they want their photo with him...because who wouldn't love someone who when he gives to others (even if it is just one day of the year) does do without any thought of himself and only thoughts of the needs to those he gives.

Give lovingly, give thoughtfully, give with a merry heart. The return will take care of itself.

Oh and as a side note: We took you to meet Santa Claus today and you weren't a huge fan of the man in red yet. You weren't screaming for the picture but your lip was definitely quivering!

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#25 Remember What Counts

It is very easy to get wrapped up in material things. Trust me -- I love coats and tennis shoes--they make me happy, they bring me a level of joy, but in the end that joy never compares to the happiness I get from things not easily seen.

Learn to take joy in friendship. My shoes will get holes in them and I will have to get a new pair. A good friend, I never have to replace so long as I take care in my relationship.

Learn to love kind words. It is EASY to be critical and rude--much harder to be kind. Appreciate the kind words others give to you and use kind words with others. The smile that spreads across someone's face can keep you warmer than the heaviest of coats.

Find comfort in hugs, excitement in the count down to your last days of school, happy anticipation of reading your favorite bed time story. Live every day knowing that you have tons of people who love you. Place your glory in heaven and not on earth.

Yes, darling I want you to enjoy your favorite pair of jeans or your latest amazing toy. I just always want you to remember that things of value often can not be touched--only felt with the heart.

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#24 Try New Foods

As a baby you are starting to eat so many different things. Yesterday I gave you black beans. I don't like them but you tried them fearlessly...and loved them.

I hope you always try new foods as you continue to grow. Eating a variety of foods is good for you. Also, trying new foods is generally a safe way to let yourself live "on the wild side" for a bit. You can use food to learn about different cultures and spark conversation. The next time someone offers you escargot or a SuperDawg in Ames go ahead and taste it.. You might just find your new favorite dish.

#23 Unplug

Yes I know it is a bit ironic that I am typing this blog post to you on a computer and telling you to unplug. I'm serious though, do it. At the very minimum pick two weekends a year where you turn off all of your electronics. That is right, unplug all of your electronic "extras". You need to realize that while these things can make life easier or more entertaining (sometimes), it still goes on without them.

Use your unplugged weekend to:
- Go for a walk--listening to nature not your music.
- Sing a song--a camp song that doesn't require a booming base.
- Have a conversation -- in person instead of over the phone.
- Send a letter -- in the real mail instead of speedy un-personal electronic mail.
- Play a board game -- as opposed to a video game.
- See a play -- did you know that actors can perform RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU? Not just on a screen?
- Take a nap -- You probably don't get enough sleep anyways.


These are obviously just a few ideas. I just always want you to take time away from this buzzing electric world of ours and simplify, prioritize, and enjoy the things that are quickly becoming beautiful reminders of lives once lived to the maximum.

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#22 Let Your Dad Be Protective

I know, in a few short years a protective father will be HIGH on your list of reasons you hate life and your parents, why you aren't "cool", why no boys will come within ten feet of you (which if you ask me is a good thing), and a million other things. I still say -- LET HIM GUARD YOU.

I can tell you this RIGHT now..your father has your best interest in mind always. I can also tell you that he is a great judge of character. He wants you to be happy--he also wants you to be safe. He will want to know where you are when you are out with friends, he will give you a curfew, he won't let you date boys who he doesn't know and who don't show you respect. Naturally you will think this is the worst thing ever but I promise it is not.

In case you haven't figured it out your life is a precious gift not only to you, but also to us as parents. We want you to have friends, have fun, heck at some point in time I even want you to get married (if you want to as well). However none of that will change that you are your father's little girl. His eyes light up when he sees you, his smile gets bigger than I have ever seen it, he cherishes you and when you are older he will want you to be with a man who does the same.

He wants you to be with someone you love (See: #4 Marry For Love) and who loves you back. That means that he might be polishing his guns when Johnny knocks at the door. Trust me, if the guy is worth your time he won't have to even worry about what your dad is up to when he arrives. It also means he will expect boys to pick you up at the door when they come to the house--not the driveway. Also, he probably won't let you out the door if he can see the young man's underwear or even a segment of your midsection.

If you promise to let your dad guide and protect you as his little girl who he loves so much..I promise to support you if he gets out of hand. ;-)

#21 Call your Grammy and your Nana

You are one lucky duck girl. You have a Grammy and a Nana who love you so very much! Do me a favor, when you are older and you think your mom is a crazy batty fool--call them. They will guide you when my advice isn't so hot. Sometimes they will agree with me, other times they might ACTUALLY have a better idea.

Other times you need to call them:
-When you are lonely
-When they are lonely
-When you are happy
-When you do something really fun
-When you are sad or disappointed
-When you want to laugh
-When you want to make someone else laugh
-ANY TIME that you think of them--because they are most likely thinking of you too.

The awesome thing about these ladies is that they are actually MOMS too! They love you and have your best interest at heart. They get the joy of spoiling you and sending you home--so they naturally come with an extra dose of fun and exciting. They have advice that I don't have. Love them, have fun with them, learn from them--AND DO NOT FORGET TO CALL THEM!!!

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#20 Shake Your Groove Thing!

That's right girl..dance! Lately you have really gotten "into" music. When the Leapfrog toy plays the ABC song you really shimmy. I just wanted to say that I hope you always are willing to dance.

People seem to think that in order to dance you have to be taught or you have to "know" how. Of course, if you want to do perfect ballet, learn a tap dance routine, or participate in So You Think You Can Dance (A TV show that will be long out of existence when you are old enough to even enjoy such a thing) you will need some classes. The good part is--you don't need a class to shake and shimmy!

Dancing is good for you! It raises your heart rate and gets your blood flowing, it stretches your muscles and can relax your mind. You can dance to relieve stress, you can dance to make someone smile, you can dance to commemorate your wedding, you can even dance for charity through things like Dance Marathon!

Please daughter, even if it is just to make your mom giggle--always be willing to break down and dance!

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#19 Learn How To Walk In Heels

After that last statement some feminist out there probably hates me. Oh well.

Should you wear heels all the time or even every day? I wouldn't recommend it but to each their own. On the other hand I feel like every girl should at least know HOW to walk in them, which does require putting them on from time to time.

Why heels? Well for a number of reasons...

1. They make you taller. Trust me at some point in life even if only once--it will be nice to be just an inch or two taller.
2. They can dress up any outfit --well almost any.
3. Wearing heels (especially while doing something that only men think they can do) is kind of like saying everything you can do, I can do better..while looking good.

All kidding aside, it is just a good skill to have. You never know when you might want to make a business suit a bit more feminine, when you will find the perfect dress only to find that the perfect shoes are pointed and tall, or that you just want to work on your balance.

You will rarely see your mother in heels, but I assure you that yes even she -- the girl in constant denim and old sneakers-- can walk in them.

Okay you don't have to start learning this today...

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#18 Pray

I know there are people who disagree, but I believe prayer is powerful. Prayer can come in many forms, silent, out loud, thankful, advice-seeking, individual, group, and much more. I tend to be what I would call a "conversational pray-er". I pray throughout my day as things happen, as I struggle and rejoice, seek guidance or have need. Prayer is something that centers me, relaxes me, keeps me focused and rejuvenated. Every night when I put you to bed I pray for your health and happiness--so don't ever think someone isn't!

How you choose to pray may be different than me, and that is ok. It is something that will develop as you explore religion and faith and grow to be the person you will become. For now, I simply pray that as you grow you will too.

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#17 Stand for Something

Stand up for something. Believe in yourself.

They say if you don't stand for something then you will fall for anything. I have to agree. While your father and I have our beliefs in various things (religious and not), I want you to have yours. If they are the same as ours then great, if they aren't then we will still love you. All I ask is that you use your brain to decide what things in life you believe in and live for and then stand up for them. Don't let other people decide these things for you. Don't be a blind follower.

If you make a bad choice or mistake I would much rather you do it knowing it was your own choice than do it because you let someone get the better of you. Take charge of your life and your actions. Work always to know yourself, where you come from, and what it is you live and stand for--despite what anyone else may say.

 

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#16 Do What You Think You Can't

In your life you will have very many opportunities to learn, explore, do, and grow and I never want you to be afraid to try something new, to accept a challenge, and be willing to work hard to reach new heights. 

Look at that last statement--it says that you will have to WORK HARD to reach new heights. That is right, life and love and everything in between often requires hard work, write - it - down. It seems that very early on in life children learn to say that they can't do things, either because they don't want to, don't know how, or just have never tried to do something. I want you to realize that the only true barriers you face to the things you want to do are the ones you put in front of yourself. 

As you grow I want you to have areas of life that you are comfortable in and can enjoy. Even more so I want you to push your limits from time to time. I want you to have struggles and know that even when things are hard, if you put your heart in to things you are passionate about, if you are willing to take a risk and stick your neck out sometimes, the rewards can be amazing.

At least once a year I want you to do something you thought you couldn't. I want you to push that limit and realize all the things you really CAN do.

This year you are doing lots of limit pushing--you are learning to hold up your head, roll over, crawl, sit up, make noises, and a million other things. If you keep following this lead you will blow this piece of advice out of the water! Here you are learning that you have feet and that you CAN grab them!

#15 Say Please and Thank You

Our society seems to be lacking manners these days. Everyone expects everything -- RIGHT NOW! People seem to forget that some things are privileges and we don't always get what we want. People also forget how powerful the words Please and Thank You can be.

Saying please and thank you is more than a matter of respect. It shows that you understand someone is going out of their way (whether it be a lot or a little) to do something for you. Lets get this straight, nobody in the world owes you anything. Especially since at this point you are a crying, pooping, non-verbal animal known as a baby. Ask kindly for the things you want, and when someone does something for you make sure you say thank you.

One last thing! I don't want you to only say thank you when someone does something big for you or gives you a gift. I want you to say please at places like the family dinner table, the store, and when you are playing with your friends. I want you to remember to thank people whether they are the President of the United States or cashier at the gas station. Who knows, perhaps your simple please or thank you could be the bright spot in somebody's long and not-so-bright day.

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#14 Watch The Storm Roll In

From time to time sit outside or near a window (despite common safety advice) and watch a big storm roll in. Take a moment to realize the combined beauty and power that mother nature has. There is something about watching the clouds filled with thunder and rage rolling towards you, that to me will always be a bit breathtaking.  Sometimes watching something you have no control over as it unfolds is a good reminder that despite our best efforts we can't control everything in life. Sometimes you have to sit back and let things roll on through.

So please daughter, once in a while sit back and let the earth show you a little bit of what it can do.

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#13 Fall off the Horse? Get Back On!

I'm sure in a few short years I will say this to you more than once and mean it literally. You see, most horses aren't out to throw you into the dirt on purpose (though a few are) but if and when you take a topple you don't hop back on, your horse might learn a great way to take a vacation when it so desires. Not only that, but getting back on gives you the mental boost to know that even though you stumbled you can still ride. That is the point I really want to make.

In life there are going to be stumbling blocks. You are going to have that one class you need in order to graduate that you just can't seem to understand. You might say or do the wrong thing and land in hot water at a job. You might let down a friend or yourself. When these things, and others, knock you down you have to pick yourself up and keep going. You can't let the fear that often joins these moments break you and hold you back from the great things you can achieve if you learn from your mistakes and move forward. When you fail a class, take it again. When you make a mistake at work take responsibility to fix it and then work harder. If you let a friend down you need to apologize and work it out.

But really, when you are on your first evil little pony and it bucks you off, show the world what you are made of. You need to get yourself up out of the dirt, brush off your jeans, look that pony straight in the eye with a smile and get back on. Teach yourself that you are in control of each situation and your reactions to them.

Fall off--figure out what went wrong--fix it--get back on.

#12 Learn to Swim

Swimming is healthy and it is fun. I think you need to know how to swim. Obviously not right this minute, but when you are old enough you need to let your dad teach you how to swim. As I already said swimming can help you stay in shape. Swimming can cool you off on a hot day. Swimming could even earn you some money some day if you become good enough and desire to lifeguard.

Besides, we live in a sink or swim kind of world so swim baby swim!

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#11 Go To College-Gotta say its a lecture.

I'm only going to say this once...GO TO COLLEGE.

I'm not going to tell you to go to college because it will assure you a job and make lots of money. There are tons of people who have gone to college and have neither jobs nor money. There are also people who have gone to college, gotten great jobs, lots of money, and have NO happiness. However in some career paths college DOES help so depending on what you want to do that may be a valid reason to go.

I want you to go to college because there is nothing else like it. During no other time in your life can you live in a 12x12 room with a complete stranger who may or may not become your best friend or greatest challenge. During no other time in your life do you ultimately get to decide what things you study into the wee hours of the night for--and what time you want to wake up to take the test to prove you studied (within some limitations). During college the only responsibilities you mainly have are the ones you pick. In order to succeed you will have to pick wisely and I hope you will.

College is one of the only times you can move every year if the place you lived the year before sucked, do an awesome program like Camp Adventure where you will work hard but also have someone pay for you to see the world and influence lives, take a class about gemstones or tennis just for the fun, join clubs about almost any topic you can think of,  and live off questionable food.

The best thing about college is the people you meet. People like Kaleigh Meyer who will laugh with you all the time and always keep it real and honest, Danielle Pogge who not only works hard but is crazy artistic and will draw your tattoo (save that for another post), and Matt Moore who will be the love of your life. Plus many more.

THAT is why you should go to college.

Disclaimer: College is a great time but is also one of the only times that appears to be socially acceptable for grown adults to take advantage of young adults by convincing them to go insanely into debt through credit cards, insane shopping sprees, and loans of all sorts.College is one of the only times that people seem to think it is OK to rack up student loans, credit card debt, and all sorts of financial trouble. Its not smart and not ok. Will college cost you money--yep--and we will talk about it later--just be careful.

FYI: When you move into an apartment and accidently put your TV stand together wrong it is totally legit to paint it with nail polish.

#10 Have a Good Handshake

You really can't make a second first impression--and there is no quicker way to come across wrong then to have a bad handshake. At my old job we would give interviews and there was no quicker way to make me question my opinion of you or to just plain freak me out sometimes then to have a horrible hand shake.

Bad handshakes include:

1. The limp hand--you know the one that doesn't grasp your hand back and instead just sits waiting to be shaken. The other person feels like they might crush you or that your wrist is broken by the whole floppiness of the situation. Great way to come across unconfident and weak.

2. The freakishly long shake. Take the other persons hand, go up and down once or twice and then let go. DO NOT draw out your hand shake through a sentence or two more minutes of talking. All at once the scene just gets creepy.

3. The wrong handed shake. In America you shake with your right hand. You ruin the whole shake if you grab with the wrong hand because everyone expects you to use the right hand which is the right hand. Exceptions can be made for when your hands are full or the hands of the other person are full.

My quick tips for a good handshake:
1.) Use your RIGHT hand.
2.) Use a firm (not to be confused with hulk) grip.
3.) Don't make the shake linger too long.
4.) Look the person in the eye when you shake--it shows you mean it.

We will work on it when you get older ;-)

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#9 Laugh Every Day

Laughing is good for you. It relieves stress, it works your abdominal muscles, and smiling is attractive.

You need to learn to laugh at yourself or this world is going to knock you down and keep you there. If you can't laugh at yourself you will get really angry when you do things like run into glass windows when you don't realize the glass is there (like your grandpa) or when you show up to work on a day you don't need to be there (like me).

Watch a funny movie, read a funny book, laugh just because it feels good.

Perhaps you can laugh at a funny blog or website such as Don't Even Reply or Passive Aggressive Notes . Those two always give me a chuckle.

If you have no other reason to laugh, do it because the sound of your giggle is music to my ears. As long as you find me funny I promise to make a complete goon of myself--just to hear you laugh.

#8 Get a Good Night of Sleep!

Well your dad and I just got back from our first overnight away from you. Nanna and Ba came to watch you at our house. You did great. Dad is fine--and mom survived. No, no, your mom had a good time. Not just one night but two! However I did make a trip home to kiss your little cheeks during the day.

Back to the advice! I realized while away that I really needed one thing I finally got. A good night of rest. I love you but you aren't the most understanding when it comes to adult sleep needs. I hadn't truly realized it until I finally slept for an 8 hour stretch of time for the first time since February. Needless to say, I feel great.

In the world we live in it seems that many people think we don't need to sleep. However it has been proven time and time again that we NEED sleep. You need to be able to relax, to recharge your battery, and to face the world with a fresh mind. As a child it is proven that most of your growing will be done while you are sleeping and I want you to grow big and strong!

Please child, no matter what is on your to-do list learn to take time regularly for good undisturbed sleep. You will have plenty of time to be awake at 2 a.m. when you have babies of your own.

#7 Find a Best Friend Who Has Your Back For Life

One of the best gifts that I have in this life is a best friend (other than my spouse) who has shared almost every significant moment with me. From elementary playground drama, to high school graduation. From my wedding day, to being there to hold you the day after you were born. My best friend has always, always, always, had my back.

We didn't always get along--and even now we still disagree on some things--but we always love each other. A best friend is that person who can laugh with you, cry with you, and tell you when you need to just plain suck it up. Your best friend is the person you will complain to about me when your grounded (and most likely they are too) and who you plot revenge with when some guy leaves you crying.

I guess this isn't really advice, but more a wish, a desire, for you to have the same amazing friendship I have had the chance to experience.

"The friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect. The ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder, in a time where nothing was certain, all life lays ahead, and every road led home" - The Wonder Years

#6 Always Put Your Name On Your Paper

That's right. When you hand in work at school--always remember to put your name on it! I'm telling you to take credit where credit is due.

In school I struggled for a while to remember to put my name on things. This ended up in me turning in work only to get a grade of zero. With no name on my paper, my teachers didn't know who the A (or B or C) belonged to and they also knew it wasn't really their job to track through hundreds of students to figure it out. They settled instead for giving the nameless papers a zero because they can't give credit to someone who doesn't claim their work. However, I also think the teachers were making a much bigger point.

My teachers were teaching me to take pride in the things I do. They were teaching me that I should be doing such good and hard work that I WANT to take credit for it. They knew that in life, if you don't take credit and put your own personal signature on the things you do and the things you work for then someone else will come along and take it for themselves.

Please dear daughter, put your name on your work. You should spend your life doing your best and being involved in things you are proud of. Things you want to take credit for. If ever you find yourself turning in work so poor, or involved in things so shameful you don't want your name associated with them, then you need to stop and reconsider your choices.

Signing Out For Now -- Your Mother-- Jessica Moore

#5 Don't Buy a Beagle

Now before all the wonderful loving Beagle owners out there FREAK OUT (as if I have a large collection of them reading this)--I own one very cute Beagle. However I will most likely never own another one and I suggest you don't either.

The problem with Beagles is that they are smart--and not in a good way. A Golden Retriever is smart but they also aim to please their owner. The Beagle is smart but all he wants to use his brain for is obtaining food in any way possible. Your father and I have gone through at least 5 trash cans attempting to find a Beagle proof one. He can step on pedals, press buttons, and flip lids just for a bite of some spoiled left overs. If that doesn't work he will situate himself right in front of you and bark until you get the idea that it may be dinner time even though dinner was served five minutes ago.

While our wonderful Beagle Ranger still exists I encourage you to love, pet, and cuddle him. However when purchasing a pet for yourself, buy a stupid dog, or a smart people pleasing dog. Don't buy a smart and self-centered dog. Mainly just don't buy a Beagle.

#4 Marry for Love

There are many motivations for the things people do now-a-days--Money, Power, Fun, Boredom--just to name a few. The one thing I can tell you though is that the only reason and only motivator you should have for getting married is real, true, love because it is the only thing that will get you through a lifetime (as marriage is meant to be) with someone else.

Please don't confuse love with infatuation. Infatuation is intense (and love can be too), and short lived. Infatuation allows you to see no wrong in the other person and often to put them on a temporary pedestal. However, when the real world kicks in and you realize that person you married in a whirlwind isn't perfect--their taste in movies is actually horrible, they can't cook, they don't fold their clothes the right way or whatever--things will quickly get old.

Love is powerful. It realizes the flaws in another and accepts them. Love is a two way street, don't give your love to someone who can't or won't return it. Love is visible in our actions and heard in our words. That doesn't mean that a marriage based on love will be perfect--but it at least means the marriage has a strong foundation on which to face the trials and tribulations of life!

Get a job for the money, go on a long vacation for fun, get a bad hair cut out of boredom--but marry for love.

Today is your parent's two year anniversary and your grand-parent's 30 year anniversary. We both hope for many more!

#3 Wear Sunscreen

Please wear sunscreen--after you are 6 months old anyways ;-)

My dear red-headed, fair skinned child please wear sunscreen. I know you will reach an age where you feel that you must be perfectly tan to be beautiful. Where a tanning bed or unprotected hours by the pool sounds harmless and great but trust me you can go from tanned to lobster almost instantly. Not only that, but the more damage the sun does to your skin the faster it ages. You might be tan now but before your time you might be an old leather back.

I look at you and see some young fresh beautiful skin. Read on it--if you want to keep it you need to slather on protection. I'm not saying avoid the sun, or freak out when you do eventually get a burn. I'm just asking you not to invite the sun to ruin that beautiful outter layer that I think people forget we need to survive!

If you laugh and think your skin will be fine then please watch this video. There are lots sicknesses, lots of ways to die, and lots of silly decisions you are bound to make. I just don't want this to be one of them.

So please darling, take care of your skin like it works to take care of you.

# 2 Always Stop At Stop Signs

That's right, always stop at stop signs literally and figuratively.

For Heaven's sake child if you are driving in a car and there is a stop sign. PLEASE STOP. PLEASE LOOK before you continue. A stop sign doesn't mean you can't ever go again but it does mean "Quit moving, make sure the coast is clear, and then get on your way." Thousands of accidents are caused every year by people not taking 30 seconds to stop at a stop sign. For many those accidents are life altering and I don't want to see your life or someone else's changed simply because you failed to stop and look around.

I hope you can realize that in life there are also other stop signs. When you reach a point in life where you think it might be time to stop and re-evaluate you are probably right. Sometimes in the world we live in it is easy to be Go-Go-Go. However, there is no better way to crash and burn then to fail to slow down and stop when necessary. Take time for yourself, know when you have reached your limits--with relationships, partying, jobs, and even hobbies. Remember that stopping doesn't have to be simultaneous with quitting. Stopping simply means taking a break, a minute to catch your breath or clear your head--to evaluate and make sure the coast is clear.

Just always remember to stop at stop signs.

#1 Never Become a Fan of Justin Bieber

That's right..never become a fan of Justin Bieber or any male vocalist similar to him for the following reasons:

1. His music is not good. If you want introduced to good music ask your dad, ask me, or ask several other people I can think of.

2. His hair is more popular than his music and when he cut it he actually lost popularity among some people. Don't spend money on someone whose fame swivels around their hair.

3. He sings music that is played in clubs he isn't old enough to get into.

4. He also sings about true love and some girl being his "Baby" but has yet to show the capability to experience it.

5. Just do me a favor and don't like him.

I expect this to be the most highly ignored piece of advice I give you. Some day when you are playing the latest pop boy music out of your speakers I will have to just cringe and bear it or beg you to please put in your headphones. I will also have to hang my head in shame when you beg me to buy you tickets to the cutesy-boy's concert and then am also forced to drive you there, chaperone the experience, and feel guilty if I enjoy even one song.